Bloom Time Life Coaching

Since what is most important to me is creating a fulfilling life on my terms and helping my clients do the same, I read many books that help me discover ways to do that even more.

Dr. Christiane Northrup’s book Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom, is a 900 page book full of magic and practicality.

Dr. Northrup provides a new framework in which women can utilize their inner wisdom through their bodies and emotions to create physical and emotional health and healing, starting for themselves, then extending to family, their community, and the world.

Broken down into 3 parts, the first is only 100 pages and sets the basis for the rest of the book. After that you can skip around as much as you want, reading various chapters, or sections within chapters. That’s what I did. That way I could read exactly what perked my attention at the moment.

In Part one, titled From External Control to Inner Guidance,

Dr. Northrup says, “our bodies and their symptoms are our biggest allies in learning to live fully from the inside out. Our bodies never lie. They are impeccable barometers of how well we’re living in the present and taking care of ourselves”. She does a fabulous job of taking what is seen as woo-woo by many (which has now been scientifically proven time and again), and making it practical for every woman to listen to and understand the relationship of her thoughts, her emotions, and how they show up physically.

She talks candidly about the mind/body connection and how the two are linked via the immune, endocrine, central nervous system, and connective tissue systems. Mind-body research is confirming what ancient healing traditions have always known: that the body and mind are a unity. There is no disease that isn’t mental, and emotional, as well as physical.

She goes on to discuss how our bodies are dynamic, ever-changing fields of energy and not static structures. Our thoughts and emotions effect change on a biochemical level in our bodies.

From the quantum physics perspective, at the subatomic level, energy (which can also be called spirit) and matter are interchangeable. Matter is the densest form of spirit and spirit is the lightest form of matter. We can view our bodies as manifestations of spiritual energy.

Our mind, daily thoughts, and emotions set up an electromagnetic field around us and every cell in our body. That energy attracts to us our vibrational equivalent. This is known as the law of attraction, and is the most fundamental law that governs the universe. Like is attracted to like. As we vibrate, so we attract.

The mind can no longer be thought of as being confined to the brain or to the intellect; it exists in every cell of our bodies.

Every thought we think is accompanied by an emotion or feeling, and every emotion creates a specific biochemical reality in our bodies. Thoughts that we think over and over again become beliefs. Beliefs drive our behavior.

In order to truly heal on the deepest level and give our cells the live message that creates health, we need to update our beliefs, feel our true feelings and choose thoughts that are more uplifting and healing, affirming our worthiness and lovability. Our past is not our destiny. Our power to change is now. Beliefs have a vibrational energy and become biology. You have the power to change them.

In part two, The Anatomy of Women’s Wisdom, Dr. Northrup walks the reader through the various parts of a women’s body and experience.

Included are her uterus, ovaries, menstrual cycle, breasts, fertility, motherhood, and menopause. With her vast experience as a physician she engages the reader with an amazing amount of information about woman’s natural hormonal cycles and rhythms, and how we can tap into and use our inner wisdom to gain understanding of what is going on in our bodies. She shares many stories of her patients, their physical problems, and how they were able to utilize their inner wisdom to help them make the best choices for their situation. She also includes a multitude of treatment options.

In part three, she continues with the Woman’s Wisdom Program for Flourishing and Healing.

She provides 12 steps with instruction for tuning into the inner guidance of your body, mind, and spirit. Additional chapters are about how to get the most out of your medical care, eating to flourish, the power of movement, and how healing ourselves first can heal the world. She has an extensive list of resources at the end of the book.

If you are an individual that is inspired by the intimate connection of the mind and body and how you can use that information to make the perfect decisions for your health, then I highly recommend this book. It continues to be updated as new information comes to light. It is like a favorite old stuffed animal, tucked on the shelf, and available for comfort and sound advice when needed. Her website is www.drnorthrup.com.

Thank you for spending some of your time with me today. I really do appreciate it and hope you found it helpful.
As always, take from here what works for you, share with your friends if you think they might benefit, and the rest, you can leave behind.
Bloom On!
Susan
P.S. What books have made a difference in your life, that have shown you a new or different way to create it on your terms?  Leave a comment below or email me, coachwithsusan@hotmail.com

Do you have a vision and mission for your life?

Why does it even matter?

I had never thought about this until I started my life coaching business and hired a mentor coach. She is someone who helps me get super clear on my business path and what I am here to do in the world with that business.

Not too long ago she asked me what were my vision and mission for my business. “Hmmmm”, I said, “I don’t know”. She gently reminded me that if I did not know where I was headed and what I wanted I would probably be a floundering fish on the dock for quite some time.

I’m going to confess. I’d heard of visions and missions but didn’t have a clue what they really meant. Enter a google search.

It turns out, a vision is future oriented.

It’s about determining your purpose for your time on the planet through what you value. Why do you work in a certain field, why do you want children if you have them? Your core values are those qualities you consider so important for your life, that without them you would not want to be here. Examples include peace, freedom, autonomy, family, health, and truth.

Hand-in-hand with this are the feelings you get when your core values are being realized in your life. Like joy, love, and fulfillment.

A mission is how we “do” our vision.

What steps do you take each day in service of that overall vision?  It’s about the choices you make that are in line with your values and the way you want to feel.

To help with this I spent some time writing down the accomplishments I had made in my lifetime. What experiences I had that were fun and lit me up. I included tiny things such as planting flowers to big things like my chosen field of work, why I did no want to have children, and moving across the country.

After I wrote these down I looked for the common thread within them. Why were they important to me? What about those things brought me such joy and fulfillment?

I realized that they were all things that brought out my authentic self, I could see the possibility in each experience, I could use my own gifts and talents in a way that worked for me. “Bingo”, my mentor coach said. Now take that and give me your vision and mission for you business.

So I did and I’m going to share it here. My vision is about being an authentic coach/person, seeing the possibility for my clients lives, using my gifts and talents in that capacity, and doing it the way it feels best (on my terms).

My mission is to help others create fulfilling lives on their terms by helping them go deeper within to find their own truth, shift their perspective, and make the changes in their lives that they want.

Do I think everyone needs to have a vision and mission for their business or life?

No. To each their own for sure.

For a person like me however who wants to make her time and energy on this beautiful planet earth matter, having a vision and mission reminds me of not only what I value but also how I make choices and take action towards that vision. So if something in my life does not line up with either what I value or the way I’m doing something I get to decide if it’s something I want to keep or not.

Here are 3 Steps to creating your own vision and mission.

1. Vision- Take out a piece of paper and a write down the various experiences you have had in your life as well as accomplishments you have made. Look for the pattern that runs through them. Did you notice that you enjoyed being around people was prominent? A core value could be connection. Did you find that you got your best work done on your own? A core value could be solitude.
2. Look at the feelings that accompanied those core values. Were they love, fun, or independence? Now write down a few sentences that encompass your values and feelings.
3. Mission- What active steps can you take every day towards your vision?  Is it through your job, your interaction with others every day, or the love you put into cooking a meal for your family? Jot that down.

Some people I know put their vision and mission on a cork board by their desk or a special place at home where they can see it and be reminded of the direction they are headed and want to go. If you need to make a decision about something, it’s the perfect place to go back and look to see if it falls in line with your vision and mission. If not maybe it’s not something you really want to do. If yes, it will probably feel great to do it.

And you get to change your vision and mission as you grow. It’s a great thing to revisit annually to see if it needs to be tweaked or revamped.

Are you in line?

Here’s to living a life that you create on your terms!

Thank you for spending some of your time with me today. I really do appreciate it and hope you found it helpful.
As always, take from here what works for you, share with your friends if you think they might benefit, and the rest, you can leave behind.
Bloom On!
Susan
P.S. Do you have a vision and mission for your life or business? I’d love to hear if it has made a difference for you. Leave a comment below or email me, coachwithsusan@hotmail.com

Image(s): FreeDigitalPhotos.net

In the May 2012 issue of Ladies Home Journal, actress Melissa McCarthy (from the CBS sitcom Mike and Molly and the movie Bridesmaids) says something bold. And I think beautiful.

“There is greatness in not caring what other people think”.

I grew up with a gazillion rules in my house.

To this day, I can still hear my mother saying, keep your shoulders back. Don’t wear too much make-up, you don’t want to look like a whore like so and so.

Don’t eat pasta, you’ll get fat.

My mother even went so far as to enroll me in an etiquette class when I was a young teenager to learn how to sit properly, stand properly, and to discover which eating utensil was to be placed 1/8 of an inch to the right of the main, salad, bread, and dessert plates. You would have thought I’d be summering in London with the Queen of England herself spending the afternoons with good ole Elizabeth for high tea and crumpets. Seriously!!!

Please hear me loud and clear when I say my mother loved me dearly and raised me to the best of her ability. I do not blame her for anything.

But do you wanna know what I think? I think my mother was worried about appearances, and what other people thought. Because that is how she was raised.

About 8 years ago I was going through a lot of crap. My marriage wasn’t going well, neither was my career, AND my mother was diagnosed with cancer. This is known as the trifecta of low points in my life.

But that is when I made the decision. The decision to look at all the rules that ruled my life.

Rules.

AKA.

My beliefs.

Those are the thoughts that we think over and over, usually from childhood, that actually run our day-to-day lives. We just don’t realize it.

I decided to start caring about what I thought.

What were my rules for me? I looked at the beliefs I had been carrying since I was young and decided which ones I wanted to keep and which ones weren’t serving my adult self any more.

I started small. The holding my shoulders back so I’d have good posture rule meant I was a walking advertisement for breast augmentation.  What I really had was neck pain. That rule went out and became, take a deep breath in and out and my posture falls into place perfectly.

Then I looked at the pasta eating rule. I did eat it and it didn’t make me fat. That rule went out and became eat pasta and stop when I’m not physically hungry anymore.

Next came the rule about make-up and whore-ism. That became, I’ll wear as much or as little make-up as I feel like, thank you very much.

But the granddaddy of all beliefs was about me, who I was as a person, how I saw myself, and what I believed about myself.

And it was all wrapped up in what other people thought about me. I cared about what they thought. Because growing up I learned I needed to act and do things a certain way so I would be accepted by others.

My big, bad, behind the scenes belief was…

I’m not good enough.

And let me tell you, that was one massive, heart-wrenching, soul-gutting, tear-rendering belief to confront.

It didn’t matter that on the outside, to others, I looked successful. That I had traveled, worked super fun jobs, attained college degrees, married, had a house, was debt free. The American Dream! But it wasn’t my dream. I was living by someone else’s rules. I just didn’t realize it.

For the longest time it didn’t matter that I had created what I had in my life on my own. I still never felt good enough. My belief followed me everywhere. I tried to be a perfectionist at everything with crappy results. Because you can’t really define perfection, no one can. I was trying to live up to a standard that didn’t exist.

So how did I tackle that big granddaddy belief? 

With resolve and kindness.

Over time, it has morphed into…

I am enough.

Because I am.

In every moment.

We all are.

If someone doesn’t like me, I respectfully do not care.

I cannot control other people’s opinions about me.

So I’ve thrown out the old rule book, rewritten a new one, and will be glad to revamp it again as I grow and change down the road. I keep what serves me and makes me happy. If a rules feels harsh or not in line with what I value, I change it up or throw it out.

And sometimes at dinner-time, it’s all I can do to throw a fork on the table to go with the pasta dish I made while I was busy putting make-up on. But don’t tell the queen. Because good lord, what would she think?

Thank you for spending some of your time with me today. I really do appreciate it and hope you found it helpful.
As always, take from here what works for you, share with your friends if you think they might benefit, and the rest, you can leave behind.
Bloom On!
Susan
P.S. What rule, AKA, belief have you thrown out?  And how has it changed your life? Leave a comment below or email me, coachwithsusan@hotmail.com

Miles/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Summer is almost here. And after a long winter, many of us have visions of gardening and getting projects done both inside and outside of our homes. We anxiously look ahead to all of this time we have coming up to get stuff done, drooling like my dog does waiting for the dog biscuit when we pull up to the drive-up bank teller line.

Unfortunately, often the summer goes by, those projects only get partially completed or not done at all. Our hopes go out the window and we’re left wondering what happened and where all the time went. So let’s make this summer different.

It’s time to do some pre-planning.

1. What is most important to you? Is it most important that you have a beautiful flower or vegetable garden for your family to enjoy, that you have a deck where everyone can sit to bask in the sun, a swing set for your kids to play on, a de-cluttered house, or a shed completed where you can store your extra outdoor gear? This is where your feelings come in. How will you feel when you are enjoying your garden, sitting on the deck, watching your kids play, walking into a clutter-free home, or having a place to put your stuff? If it feels like freedom, that’s a pretty good sign it’s important to you.

2. Prioritize. Are you someone who is happy getting a little bit done on a lot of projects or likes to finish one project all the way through to completion before starting the next? Because if you are a one-project-at-a-time person, trying to tackle too many at once can be overwhelming. Know yourself, then prioritize what is most important to get done first. Whatever feels the best or gives you the highest sense of satisfaction when you think of it being done is again a great way to determine where to start.

3. Time Management- We all have 24 hours each day. Thankfully many of those hours come with the bonus of outdoor lighting via our midnight sun. But many of us work, have kids, and life doesn’t always slow down in the summer as much as we’d like. So get serious about how much time you actually will have to spend on your project(s). It’s good to remember that almost everything takes longer to accomplish than we think, or hope, it will. That shed you thought would be done by July 15^th might not be completed until August 15th. Just build in some cushion time so that if you happen to get it done sooner, you’ve got a cherry to go on top of that sundae.

4. Energy Management- This might even be more important than time management. You may have the physical time to get projects done but do you have the physical energy to match it? For example, maybe you plan to get that shed put up in a weekend. You think if you spend 10 hours each on Saturday and Sunday you can get er’ done. And maybe you can. Often though, we overestimate how much physical energy we have to do something. It’s like the proverbial saying that our eyes are bigger than our stomach. Sometimes we do bite off more than we can chew. Research shows that when we get tired both physically and mentally, we make mistakes. We often have to go back and fix them. This takes more time. We then get frustrated. When we get frustrated we sometimes want to stop working on the project all together. So know your energy capacity. Stop when you get tired. There is always the next day or weekend. Do you really want to redo what you’ve already done? I’m betting the answer is no.

That’s it. Four easy steps to get your projects done this summer. And since I don’t want to see you looking disappointed like my dog does when he realizes there is no dog biscuit in the tube this time in the banking drive through line, take some time to pre-plan and know what you value, prioritize, and determine your time and energy. This will give you a jump on not only getting your projects started, but completed too. This summer.  Happy Projecting!!!

Thank you for spending some of your time with me today. I really do appreciate it and hope you found it helpful.
As always, take from here what works for you, share with your friends if you think they might benefit, and the rest, you can leave behind.
Bloom On!
Susan
P.S. What tricks do you have for getting your summer projects done? I bet we could all benefit. Leave a comment below or email me, coachwithsusan@hotmail.com

Howden/FreeDigtialPhotos.net

Focus.

I plant my foot firmly on the hack, I draw back lifting my hips up, keep my arm straight, fingers and thumb wrapped loosely around the stone handle. I focus my eyes like a laser on the skips broom at the other end of the ice.

I pause for one second to center myself. To pay attention to where I want the stone to go.

I push-off still focusing on her broom, noticing my speed, adjusting my grip on the stone so if I need to pull back at the last second to slow it down I can.

I release it and it heads down the sheet of ice into certain uncertainty.

This is the point when I have done all that I can do. I have let go.

The stone is out of my hands both literally and figuratively. It is now up to the sweepers who brush the ice in front of the stone to determine if it is moving too fast or not, and how hard to sweep if it isn’t moving fast enough. It is up to the skip who has called the shot to determine if the line or trajectory of the stone is correct, and to tell the sweepers to keep doing what they’re doing or to call them off so the stone will end up just where she wants it.

Do you ever try so hard to do everything perfectly in your life? Like you alone have the power to make what you want to happen? Just like throwing that stone in curling, you do focus, give it your best, and hope for success.

But at some point, the outcome is not in our hands anymore. It really isn’t. We have to let go. After you throw the stone, you have done all you can do on your end to help the outcome happen as planned. It is now up to your team members to jump in and help.

But what if they do their job to the best of their ability and the sweepers sweep too hard or too early and the stone passes the mark, or the skip thinks the stone is perfectly on line but it isn’t and she calls the sweepers off and the stone misses the mark?

This is the point I usually start to second guess myself thinking if I had just let go one millisecond sooner or half an inch to the right, the outcome might have been different. And it might have been.

But then you look up and realize that although your stone did not end up where the skip asked you to throw it, it knocked away another stone from the opponent’s team that now allows your team a better shot at scoring points.

Yay.

Awesome.

Plan B.

Trust the process.

It was not what you wanted but it turned out better than plan A.

How many times have you tried to make something work or happen in your life just a certain way? You did the preparation, focused, and worked on it as best you could, but you couldn’t pull it off. At least not in the way you were hoping. Trusting the process means trusting that the universe has the best outcome for you in mind, even when you can’t see it.

Focus.

Let go.

Trust.

A lot of times things turn out better. Plan B. Maybe plan B wasn’t even on your radar. It usually isn’t. But that’s the way the universe works. We do our part by asking for what we want, focusing and taking inspired action. And then we let go. There’s nothing left to do, but trust the process. Trust that the outcome will be perfect as it is. Just maybe even better than we had planned.

And what if it doesn’t work out and plan B stinks too? You get another shot. Tomorrow is another day.

In curling you get 16 shots a game, 16 times to focus, let go, and trust.

Knowing all will work out perfectly… it just might not be my or your specific plan A.

Thank you for spending some of your time with me today. I really do appreciate it and hope you found it helpful.

As always, take from here what works for you, share with your friends if you think they might benefit, and the rest, you can leave behind.

Bloom On!

Susan

P.S. I’d really love to hear what you have let go of and what the outcome was. Seriously!!   Leave a comment below or email me, coachwithsusan@hotmail.com

Curling Photo

We’ve all heard about the self-love and care concept, how important it is to love ourselves, be kind to ourselves, take time for me, yada yada yada. But do you really practice it?

I thought I had the self-love and care thing down, until one day…

I was in yoga class in a downward dog position (picture a person facing the floor with both hands and feet on the mat with their butt up in the air). I was caring for both my body and soul. My mind on the other hand had a running commentary about the state of my hip flexibility. It said things like “that left hip is still tighter than the right”, followed by “you said you would take 2 minutes a day to stretch them”, on to “can’t you even spend 120 seconds a day to stretch”, then came “I bet the woman next to you practices her stretches daily”, further hounding myself with “you are a yoga fraud and should probably get up and leave class now”. Sound familiar?

And that’s when it hit me. I’ve got the self-care thing going on but I definitely do not have self-love coming my way.

So what’s the difference?

Self-care is about all the things you do to take care of yourself that show you appreciate you. For both me and many of my clients this includes feeding our bodies healthy food as fuel, going for walks in nature, going to bed early to get sleep, having lunch with friends, taking time alone to read or meditate, buying ourselves flowers, getting a massage. If it feeds your soul and fills you up, no matter what it is, it’s self-care.

Self-love on the other hand is all about what we say about ourselves to ourselves in our minds. It is deeply appreciating who you are as an individual, all of your unique qualities. Loving and accepting your perfect imperfections.

Some examples of self-love include saying things like I’m awesome, I rock (my personal favorite), all is well in the world with me, and I am enough in every moment.

It could even be on the lighter side like telling yourself I have beautiful toenails and fingernails(don’t dismiss it), I look delicious in the color blue, and my butt looks damn good in these jeans (yep you know you wanna say it).

And why is self-love so important to practice?

1. It feels good. Raise your hand if you like to feel good. Okay, no brainer here.

When you whisper sweet nothings into your own ear you are giving you an endorphin hit each time. Think about how nice it is when someone else tells you something great about you. You have the ability to do it 24/7 in your own mind. Try it for a week and notice the feel-good that you experience.

2. The universe can only be as good to you as you are to yourself.

Scientists have already proven that human beings, trees, buildings, cars, planets, the sun, everything is just a form of energy. This includes our thoughts and feelings. All energy emits a frequency or vibration. Like attracts like. Therefore if the thoughts you are thinking about yourself are along the lines of not being good enough and not worthy of love, then that is the energy you are flowing (vibrating) out. The universe has no choice but to flow that same energy in the form of people and experiences back to you to prove you right. Likewise if you are sending thoughts to yourself from yourself about how nice and kind you are, then that same positive energy will flow back to you from the universe in kind. If you want positive to follow to you from the outside, flow it to yourself from the inside.

3. When you are filled up by you (and I know you know exactly what you need to hear from you to feel good) you have so much more to give and offer others.

Start to notice what you are saying to yourself in your mind. If what you are about to say to yourself in your head is something you would never tell someone you love, then it’s time to change it up. When your own cup is full you are a more loving partner, a more patient parent, a more giving coworker, a more kind friend, the list goes on.

It’s such a simple concept self-love. It’s so easy to say a few nice words to yourself about yourself every day and it only takes a few seconds.

What are you waiting for? You and the whole world will benefit.

Bring on the self-love fest!!!

Thank you for spending some of your time with me today. I really do appreciate it and hope you found it helpful.

As always, take from here what works for you, share with your friends if you think they might benefit, and the rest, you can leave behind.

Bloom On!

Susan

P.S. What do you say to yourself to practice self-love?  We could all benefit from learning something new. Leave a comment below or email me, coachwithsusan@hotmail.com

samarttiw/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I have returned from a most magical time spending time with family and friends in Florida, then being enveloped whole-heartedly by Martha Beck Life Coaches at our Bi-annual Conference in Phoenix. This weeks post is inspired by my time spent with these fabulous women and a handful of men who not only know how to love others with such deepness, but also know and practice returning to their home base within to rejuvenate.

Are you searching for peace? A place you can call home? A place where you have a sense of support, love, care, and acceptance?

That place exists within you all of the time. You are the “home” you seek.

So many of us look for home outside of ourselves. We look for it in our families, friends, significant other, nature, pets, work, a city or town, the physical home we live in… And yes, I believe we can find a sense of home in each of these.

But the home I’m referring to is that deep connection within you, with you. That place within yourself where you feel clam, connected, at peace, balanced, and full of love. You may at times have felt this, even if for a fleeting moment.

The home within is accessible anytime you wish. The whole world may feel like it might implode but you have a place where you can become grounded and feel whole.

Maybe you haven’t found the home within yourself and long to find that space of comfort and belonging.

Here is one way to begin:

Get comfortable in a quiet space where you can sit or lie down.

Close your eyes.

Take 3 long breathes, each one slower and deeper than the previous.

Then ask yourself what home would feel like?

What emotions surface for you?

As you hold those emotions, notice where and how they physically show up in your body. For example, if your emotion is love, do you notice the feeling of a full heart? Or when you think of peace, does warmth in your chest appear? No rules, no judgment, just notice.

This is what the home within feels like for you. Be curious. Drink it in. Allow it to encompass you so that you know what it feels like and can easily return.

When I turn inward, my mind becomes very quiet, no chatter, no to-do list, only silence. I feel a sense of calm and peace come over my entire body. Every muscle relaxes and does no extra job other than what it needs to. I have a sense that no matter what were to happen outside of me I could handle it from a place of balance.

The next time you feel stressed, overwhelmed, and bedraggled; remember that home is not far away. You carry her with you everywhere you go.

From this space, home base, you become grounded again. All of the wisdom you will ever need lies within you.

Home is where your heart is found. Look within and you will find her there.

Thank you for spending some of your time with me today. I really do appreciate it and hope you found it helpful.

As always, take from here what works for you, share with your friends if you think they might benefit, and the rest, you can leave behind.

Bloom On!

Susan

P.S. What does home feel like for you?  Leave a comment below or email me, coachwithsusan@hotmail.com

Vuono / FreeDigitalPhotos.net